Why Me

What is so specail about me, really. I am a confused teenager that cant ever get both feet on the ground at the same time and I am never happy I always have something to be sad about. I hate myself, the wrong person died in that tragic accident and I am ready to change. I am only the fun person I am in front of my sister and I dont know why I am so confused but i hide it with a smile. I am hurting really bad inside. whatever! I need to break out of my shell....help.